Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
