The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
