We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
