he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
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How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
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She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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