Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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