Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
