mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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