I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
