Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
