Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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