You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
