I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
