I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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