This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
