His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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