Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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