Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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