I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
How's work?
Spinning.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm getting married
To pizza
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
