i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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