pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
