The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
