hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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