I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
