you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This baby is an asshole
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
