What did we do last night that was yellow?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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