He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
