Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
handjob tips. give me some.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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