And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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