I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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