if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize