For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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