Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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