Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
