I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
