I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
