pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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