I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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