What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
