I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
