there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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