From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
