You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
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My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
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Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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