Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Terrible idea I love it
Damn victory sex feels great
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
