i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
