He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
