i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize