God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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