i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I will pee on everything he values.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
