She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
