ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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