You're so nebulous sometimes
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize