Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
