i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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