Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
