bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
