We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
