your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You can't motorboat a personality
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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