I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
