I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
