so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
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Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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