Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
