Will you blow on my dice?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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