for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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