This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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