plz talk dirty to me
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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