I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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