it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
