i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
